I was hanging out with my friend Ruby one day by her pool. The sun was out and we had just finished trying out some yoga (a lot harder than it looks, trust me), when we decided to sit up out of the pool and have a cigarette.
Drying off our hands and talking about boys and life, Ruby turned to me and said, ‘I find it kind of annoying how the media and movies and television throughout our whole lives from when we are born like shoves it down our throats that finding a significant other is the ultimate goal.’
It got me thinking for a little bit. The media portrays that having a significant other is the ultimate goal, but is it? Is having someone else the most important thing in this world? We all know what I’m talking about, there are love stories everywhere. Romeo and Juliet, Patrick Verona and Kat Stratford, Chuck and Blair, Carrie Bradshaw and Mr Big, and that’s just to name a few. There are so many movies and television shows out there with amazing love stories that make us think, ‘wow, that’s what I want.’
But why? Why is having someone else to feel whole the ultimate goal? You are not a half on your own; you are whole on your own. Having someone else is just nice but I don’t think it should be the ultimate goal. I think the ultimate goal should be feeling great on your own, and knowing that no matter what you can survive on your own. So no matter how many people break your heart, or how many awful things happen you can always pick yourself back up and know it’s going to be okay.
Being happy on your own is the most important thing, because it’s easy to be happy around other people. Especially if they’re good people and produce good happy vibes, it’s really easy. The sun will rise every day and you have to rise with it alone, don’t get caught in the trap of relying heavily on another person to be your happiness. You can be your own happiness. However, being happy on your own is a bit of a task some times. I know when I’ve spent a few nights with friends or with a boy, sleeping on my own again is a bit of a struggle. But that’s just life isn’t it? I know I like spending time alone and spending time with people, so finding a perfect balance is key. We all need to realise that you can be alone and not be lonely, there is a difference between the two. Just because you don’t have someone sleeping next to you that you can hold does not mean that you are lonely. Find the balance of being happy on your own and being happy with someone else and my dear you will rise above the mountains and your soul will thankyou a million times over. You need to be gentle to your heart, don’t let stupid boys hurt you because ‘finding love is the ultimate goal’. It takes time, be careful with your choices and be gentle. It won’t happen overnight, but if it does happen, embrace every moment.
Author – Chloe Ritchie